Can You Hold Me
by sunsetbabe17
Summary: "I didn't want to be alone," she closed the distance between them but stopped just short of actually touching him, not sure what to do. Not sure what he needed or wanted, especially from her. One-Shot takes place after CA:CW.
Disclaimer: The Avengers belong to Marvel. Warning Civil War Spoilers ahead.

 **Can You Hold Me**

As soon as T'Challa reassured him of Bucky's safety Steve left Wakanda.

" _I think it's best for everyone."_

Maybe it's what was best for Bucky and everyone else, but not for him, not for Steve Rogers. All he wanted was to have his best friend back. It was like he was there, but just out of arm's reach. And he didn't know what was worse: thinking his best friend died because he couldn't save him from falling off a train in World War II or voluntarily putting him on ice for who knows how long. Either way he still didn't have his best friend.

He didn't know how long he had been driving around aimlessly throughout the night, lost in his thoughts. Here was the Star Spangled Man with a Plan, except he didn't have a plan. Nor did he have his shield or a team.

Looking up he shook his head at the building he found himself in front of. Well since he was already here he might as well go on up. He parked his motorcycle and headed up the three flights of stairs.

He knocked and when no one answered he tried the handle and was surprised to find the door unlocked. "Hello," he cautiously walked in and took a look around.

It didn't look like anything was missing, but it was hard to tell as the place only really contained the bare essentials needed to get by to begin with. However a layer of dust indicated that no one had been here for some time.

Putting his hands on his hips he sighed. He wasn't really sure what he had been expecting and wasn't sure exactly what to do now. He could just go but he suddenly found himself exhausted so he just sunk down onto the couch and put his head in his hands.

"You know this is the last place I expected to find you," startled he raised his head from his hands and there she was. Natasha Romanoff was leaning against the door frame with her trademark smirk gracing her face.

Then, he suddenly seemed to realize where exactly he was and how tense things had been between the two of them lately.

"I'm sorry I should go," but he made no move to get up and leave.

She moved fully into the room and turned to shut the door behind her, "You still have a lot to learn, you tripped the alarms. I could've blown you sky high," she shrugged "Decided to see what you wanted first."

He snorted, however was not really sure if she was joking or not. This was the Black Widow after all.

Seeing as how he wasn't going to make the first move she dropped her teasing manner and sat on the coffee table in front of him. "Steve," she rested her hand lightly on his knee hoping to draw his attention and when that didn't work she hooked a finger under his chin and lifted his eyes to meet hers, "What are you doing here?"

Blue eyes met green and he saw understanding and compassion but also confusion and hurt pooling in her eyes.

"I really shouldn't be here," he jerked out of her grasp and basically sprinted for the door.

"Don't!" and it wasn't an order or a command, she just couldn't watch him leave again.

At her soft plea he faltered, he's the one who came here he at least owed her an explanation. Turning back to face her he cleared his suddenly tight throat and rubbed away the tears welling in his eyes.

"I didn't want to be alone," she closed the distance between them but stopped just short of actually touching him, not sure what to do, not sure what he needed or wanted, especially from her.

Matters were taken out of her hands when he wrapped his arms around her and sobbed. God he had missed her these past few days. He didn't know when or how it happened but he needed her.

"You're not alone," she whispered in his ear and rubbed his back comfortingly.

They stayed like that standing in the middle of her apartment as Steve Rogers finally broke down, spent after all this time carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders and being strong for everyone else.

The sobs subsided and he began to pull away but as soon as she started to release him he grasped her face in his hands and captured her lips with his.

Startled she didn't respond and Steve tensed and quickly pulled away.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that."

Before he got too far she pulled him back into her embrace and captured his lips once again. If this is what Steve needed, a night to forget and erase the events of the past few days, to feel nothing but pleasure then she could give that to him.

She started backing him up to the bedroom and his knees hit the end of the bed and when he fell back he pulled her with him. Breaking their kiss she reached down to tug his shirt off when he lightly grasped her wrists.

"No, stop," she frowned, puzzled as she straddled his lap. She could tell that he wanted her. "Not like this."

She didn't understand so she just leaned down and kissed him, trailing kisses down his jaw and leaning up to whisper in his ear, "Shh let me give this to you."

He took a hold of her hips and bodily picked her up and off of him. She stared at his back hunched before her, utterly confused. No one had turned her down before. She knew men found her beautiful, had used that to her advantage many a time in the past.

Tentatively she rested a hand on his shoulder blade, "Steve?" She wasn't sure what she had done wrong.

Sighing he turned to face her and grabbed her hands in his, "I can't use you like that." And it hurt him to see the shock and confusion that crossed her face. Her body was just another tool to her, that's how she was trained.

"Can you-can you just hold me?"

"Sure," she pulled him back down onto the bed as he laid his head on her chest, listening to her heartbeat and wrapping his arms securely around her, intending on never letting her go.

She soothingly ran her fingers through his hair as they got comfortable.

After a while of silence he suddenly blurted, "I kissed Sharon."

"I know," and somehow he wasn't surprised, she seemed to know everything. He lifted his head to clearly see her face.

"You're not mad?"

Leaning down she met his lips in a kiss that took his breath away.

"Should I be?" she whispered in her husky voice as she pulled away.

"No," and he buried his face back in her neck, squeezing her tight.

"We should probably break the rest of our friends out of prison," he muttered.

"They can wait," after all they did give her some bruises in the battle the other day.

She could feel him smirk against her chest, "You're so cruel."

"But you love me anyway," The fingers running through his hair paused as she realized the words that had just slipped out unintentionally. And she was certain he could hear her heart suddenly stop beating beneath his ear.

He grabbed the hand that was resting on his arm and brought her knuckles to his lips for a light kiss.

"Yup," and he twined his fingers with hers and rested them over his heart.

She smiled in the dark and the two slept peacefully for the first time in what felt like forever.

A/N: Let's face it Steve had to have help breaking into the Raft and I like to think that help came in the form of the Black Widow.


End file.
